Separation Relationships – Do They Work Or Is It Just Putting Off The Inevitable
Once you get to the stage where divorce is on the cards, you might want to consider trying a separation. Relationships that try separation before they opt for a more permanent choice of divorce or permanent breakup, often succeed in repairing themselves in the long run.
This is because with separation relationships, the couple involved give themselves the benefit of a timeout and they effectively take the heat out of a tense situation. What this means is that in the heat of a pending breakup there is a chance for both parties to leave the scene, calm down and weigh up exactly what they want.
Without this separation there is every chance that the relationship would end straightaway. With separation, relationships there is every chance of saving their relationship because there are limited chances of making rash decisions that may very quickly be regretted.
However, the key to success, when considering a separation, is to set some ground rules. Make sure you sit down with your partner and iron out some detailed plans and goals. Without these plans and goals you run the risk of getting nowhere.
Some issues that are worth thinking about involve finances, arrangements regarding any children that there may be, plans about whether the two of you will see each other and if so under what circumstances, and also what kind of help the two of you might consider seeking, in regards to saving your relationship.
What is also worth agreeing to, before a separation, is whether the two of you will date other people. This is important because one of you might think that it is implicit that this will not happen, while the other might think of themselves as a free agent and free to do whatever they want with whomever they want. Whether you believe your spouse will date other people or not, this detail should be expressly ironed out before a separation is agreed.
Above all for separation relationships to work the two of you should agree how long this state will continue. It is pointless leaving the separation open ended because you could find that your relationship has drifted and the two of you have no idea how to get back on track. Agree a time frame, a few weeks, a few months, whatever you’re comfortable with. Also factor in the possibility of extending the time frame. That way if you both feel you need more time or less time, then that can be easily factored in.
Without a doubt separation relationships have been used successfully to save relationships.